Sow Potatoes, See What You Shall Reap

Chapter 11

Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner were quite surprised to see that Jane was in the drawing room when they came back. After having related to his wife the morning call and the delivery of the letter, the gentleman had guessed that their niece would probably be affected by its content. So they both had prepared some explanations for their children about their cousin’s sudden ‘illness’. Therefore, Jane’s quiet presence on the ground floor of the house was a pleasing but somewhat strange surprise for all of them.

“Oh, you’re back! Was it as pleasing as it seemed it would be?” Jane had resolved on behaving as if she hadn’t received Charles’s missive. She was truly ashamed to have caused some worry for her relatives and additional work for the staff. Fortunately, she didn’t know that the staff had also been worried and, as a consequence, all the more willing to satisfy her needs, otherwise her shame would have been deeper indeed! Thus, as soon as she had been able to, she had gone back to her needlework, trying not to think of the letter and to present a serene face to the world.

The point is that she succeeded, at least, in reinforcing her aunt and uncle’s admiration for her. She was truly an admirable young woman and really deserved to be happy.


Time went by in that peaceful environment until the end of the afternoon. When a knock resounded in the house, Jane’s face turned white. No, it cannot be him! He wrote ‘in the next few days’, not this very afternoon! I’m not prepared for this… I have to get away… I can’t… Where is my strength? Her breath was jerky, her hands limp on her lap, her head cast downwards.

On hearing the same sound, man and wife looked and smiled at each other. Then they looked at their niece and got afraid. “Jane, what’s the matter? Don’t you feel well? Do you want to lie down?” Instantly, Mrs. Gardiner was kneeled beside her niece and Mr. Gardiner hurried out of the room to check the identity of the caller.

As Jane didn’t seem to be able to answer, her aunt called for some help and decided to take her back to her room. She was really unable to account for this sudden fit of nerves but she knew what effect it would have on Lizzy, if indeed she were the new comer, at seeing her sister like this. “Jane, Dear, look at me.”

Jane was struggling to escape her anguish. She caught her aunt’s word and, frightfully, raised her head.

“Jane, try to breath normally, inhale more air… That’s it… Yes that’s better… Can I get you something to drink?”

Jane’s body was starting to go back to work normally and she nodded. But as soon as her mind started to think back where it had stopped, the anguish came back.

Her aunt asked the maid to fetch a glass of brandy and kept on checking on Jane. “Jane, please… Remember to breath deeply…” Once the latter had sipped some of the drink, she repeated her question: “Do you want to lie down? I think you should go to your room for a while.”

“Yes…” That was it, she had a way of escape, she would not have to see Mr. Bingley. “But please, I don’t want to be seen. Can you find a way…?”

Her aunt was flabbergasted. What was it with this unknown caller? Of course, Jane could not know it could be her dear sister, and, considering what had happened to her recently, she was likely to react strongly at every new event. But she had been so calm after her more than probable reading of Mr. Bingley’s letter, even if it was him, now at their door, which, because of the late hour, it most certainly was not, she shouldn’t be so distressed.

Nevertheless, this seemed to be the only way to sooth Jane and she still thought Lizzy would be too upset, should she see her sister at the moment. She managed to lead Jane to her room, unseen and not seeing anyone.


Meanwhile, Mr. Gardiner had identified and received the caller. “Lizzy! I’m so happy you could come. Did you have a good trip? I take it everyone is well at Longbourn.” He paid attention in using a soothing tone as his niece was visibly in good health and very disturbed.

“Dear Uncle! Did you really imagine I would not come? When not only you but Jane also ask me to come? How is she? Where is she? I must go to her at once! ”

As this last sentence, missing both answers to the questions he had asked her and any pause for breathing, confirmed his previous analysis about her mindset, her uncle unknowingly rejoined his wife in delaying somewhat the meeting between the sisters. “Lizzy, please, calm yourself. First, you have to put yourself at ease and I have to explain you what happened…” he couldn’t finish as Lizzy burst:

“But Uncle, she needs me, she already told me most of what happened in her letter and she will tell me the remaining, I have to get to her.”

“Elizabeth,” his tone was very commanding, the one he was more used to scold his children with than to talk to his eldest nieces, “think this through. Do you really think you are able to help her when you’re obviously too upset? She needs quiet to forget the storm she’s been through yesterday and she wants your advice because she thinks you are smarter. You have to come with me, rest for some time, listen to what happened and then you’ll see her.” He added in a kinder tone: “Please, Lizzy.”

Her eyes were now cast down, she was ashamed of her behaviour, her uncle was right. She docilely followed him in his library and, following his silent injunction, she took a chair.

“Lizzy, we were just having some tea, would you like a cup?”

She took a deep breath, tried to lighten her expression and answered. “That would be delightful, Uncle, thank you very much… I did have a very good trip, the weather was very pleasing. Everybody at Longbourn is very well. Papa was quite upset after reading your letter and he encouraged me to come…” On seeing her uncle smile good-naturedly, she added: “Really, he was! He went as far as asking Hill to fetch me!”

“Did he, really? I’m very impressed!”

Lizzy smiled and went on. “Yes he was as I am still. I’m sorry for my outburst but you must understand how I feel. My purpose in suggesting she comes here was to avoid her any more pain. I feel for her, for what she’s been through but I feel also for myself.”

Her uncle was surprised: “Lizzy! Whatever may be the reason of your suffering?”

“Suffering may be too strong a word but I’m disappointed my scheme wasn’t successful.”

“My dear Lizzy, am I not witnessing an exemplary case of self-pity?”

Lizzy thought for a while before replying to one of the two men in the world she most respected. Her tone was still thoughtful when she answered: “I think you’re right, once again! I may not be as wise as I like to think… Am I really the good person to help Jane?”

“Of course you are! And I’m glad you still have some wisdom to learn. You’re young therefore impulsive, let life teach you how to step back…”

A knock was heard at the library door and a maid entered with a tea tray. This broke the thoughtful mood that was invading the room.

“Uncle, let me pour the tea… and… I’d gladly listen to your version of what happened to Jane.”

Her uncle related the previous day events with almost the same words he had already used for his wife. But where Mrs. Gardiner had been silenced in her amazement, Lizzy was bouncing on her chair, rereading in her mind Jane’s letter she almost knew by heart and obviously refraining from interrupting her uncle’s speech. Her expression jumped from still amazement because Mr. Bingley was one of her uncle’s customers, satisfaction to have been right about his feelings and intentions towards her sister, anger on hearing the accusation he had thrown to Jane, worry for her, alone, grieving on her way back to Gracechurch Street. From this point, her uncle was giving her new pieces of information.

“How could he believe she was pretending anything? Nothing in her attitude was faked. On the contrary, Charlotte Lucas told me Jane was not obvious enough in the display of her affections. Anyway, she does not know how to fake anything! And why did he suddenly become aware of her so-called pretence?”

“I don’t have the answer, my dear, although I had afterwards a very enlightening discussion with the gentleman.”

Lizzy started at these words: “You did? But why? How? I’m sure you scolded him for his ungentleman-like attitude! I would have!”

Imagining his niece in this position, Mr. Gardiner smiled. He nevertheless answered seriously. “I did inform him that what I was seriously displeased with had just happened but I couldn’t go much farther as he almost immediately broke down in front of me.”

Lizzy’s eyes widened in amazement. “’Broke down’ as in ‘started weeping’?”

“Indeed Lizzy, indeed.” And he went on with Mr. Bingley’s side of the story. The results of this narrative were Lizzy’s reinforced belief in Mr. Bingley and her sister’s chance of happiness, in Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley’s unworthiness and in Mr. Darcy’s pride. “I wholeheartedly agree with your views about their total compatibility. And fortunately, Mr. Bingley is more than willing to try to win her back despite Jane’s words to him. You must understand my shock on witnessing her speech, I would have never believed her capable of such a thing. True she eventually yielded and fled but, at first, she stood up and she was angry and…”

“That’s so very strange. She told me in her letter that she was over him but Jane is not resentful…” …unlike one gentleman I’d like to be able to express my point of view to… on the other hand, I’d rather not if I wish to act as a lady… “…and she didn’t know what anger is! I have to speak to her, there must be things she forgot to write me.” After a thoughtful pause she asked: “So Mr. Bingley wants to get her back, does he? And has he informed you of his plan to achieve that?”

“Yes, he asked me and was granted permission to write a letter to your sister to present his point of view. He delivered it this morning and…”

“So they have met once again? And how did it go?”

“Lizzy, please…” Her uncle’s smile showed her that he was then more amused than angry. “No they didn’t met. He delivered it very early, Jane was not up yet and he didn’t even ask if he could see her. He came with his friend, Mr. Darcy. We discussed a little about farming… when I say ‘we’, I mean Mr. Darcy and myself… Mr. Bingley was too preoccupied to participate much in the conversation.”

Lizzy was very surprised at the news. First, Mr. Darcy had come to Cheapside, then he had come to accompany his friend who was delivering a letter to try to win back the heart of a woman who was not worthy enough a few weeks ago, and he was probably aware of the fact, and last but not least, he had been an active participant in a conversation with her uncle, of all men! “That Mr. Darcy is not a tall aloof gentleman, with an estate named Pemberley, is he?”

“Yes he is, he’s the one who was at Netherfield last autumn and who convinced Mr. Bingley that Jane was not in love with him. I take it they had a discussion about yesterday morning events and Mr. Darcy has understood he had been wrong. He probably came here also to show his friend he had nothing to reproach Jane but her supposed no-affection for him.”

“Yes, probably, and he will also probably call on me very soon to ask for my hand! Really Uncle, I may not be as wise as I wish it but there are things I’m sure about. And one of them is that that gentleman has a very high opinion of himself and a very low one of the rest of the world in general and the Bennets particularly. I don’t know why he came and I don’t care but let me assure you that, in his eyes, Jane’s family makes her an ineligible match for his friend.”

“Lizzy, it pains me to say so, as it probably pains you to hear it, but we both know that, for a tradesman’s son who wish to belong to the high sphere, there is some truth in such a statement. And even though she cannot help her family, I think she is one of the few who are above the rest of us.”

He let Lizzy sip her tea and think about his last reply, then he told her that when he had last see her, Jane was in the drawing room but seemed to have taken ill. He called for the maid who informed them that, indeed, Jane was now in her room with the mistress. Following his suggestion, the maid took Lizzy’s cloak and luggage to her room and he took her to see her sister.


On hearing Jane’s soft agreement to his knocking at her door, Mr. Gardiner announced merrily: “Jane, I’ve got a very soothing and happy news for you: Lizzy’s here to spend the weeks before her trip to Kent with us!”

Jane’s shout was immediately followed by a tender embrace between the sisters. Jane was still lying on her bed and her aunt had withdrawn to let the two of them enjoy their reunion. Soon Jane recovered enough to remind her sister that she had not yet seen Mrs. Gardiner. Lizzy happily obliged and all of them had a quiet chat about the good trip, Hertfordshire and the improving weather. Two simultaneous conversations with eyes only were also taking place. The one between the sisters was mainly questions from Lizzy about her sister’s overall health, the one between man and wife tending to make them disappear from the room. Soon enough, the sisters were alone and Lizzy could vocalise her thoughts.


“Jane, Jane, Jane, you made me worry so much. And here I am and learn that you’ve taken ill a few moments after my arrival!”

“Oh Lizzy! I didn’t want to make you worry. It’s not worth it, I’m not worth it. I shouldn’t have sent this letter but I didn’t know what to do. And I didn’t expect you, how comes you’re here? You were true, everyone is fine at Longbourn?”

Lizzy had settled on the bed, her sister’s hand in hers. “Let me answer all of this: yes you’re worth it, yes you were right in sending this letter, of course I had to come when my aunt and uncle had also written to me asking me to join you, and yes, everyone is perfectly fine at home… well, except of course Mama’s nerves, Mary’s sermons, and Kitty and Lydia’s quarrels.” The last part brought a real tender smile on Jane’s face. “But how are you?”

“I feel utterly foolish. I have just panicked because I thought he was the caller. He wrote me he would come… you didn’t!”

Lizzy faked surprise. “What is it? Teasing? Who are you? What have you done with my beloved sister?”

“I hadn’t realised my aunt and uncle’s compassion. They must have sent both letters by express… They asked you to come! I can scarce believe it… I don’t deserve it.”

“Jane… Here you are again! Please, stop being so humble. Nobody deserves it more than you do. You’re a steady girl made of stern stuff but too much is too much and I believe you have had your share this last two days…” As her sister didn’t seem to be willing to elaborate on this last subject, she went on: “So he wrote to you, did he?”

Jane only nodded. She sat slowly on her bed, stood up, went to the little reading table, opened the drawer and carefully exhumed the letter. She handed it to her sister and softly asked: “Read it, please Lizzy.”

“I’d rather not, Jane. ‘Tis not the kind of letter written to be shared. And I’d rather listen to your reading of it.”

This answer seemed to wake her sister from her daze. “Lizzy! I need your analysis of it, I need your cleverness to be sure I don’t misunderstand him.” Realising she had been demanding, she came back to her soft tone. ”I beg you, read this letter and tell me what to make of it.”

Lizzy was torn between the wish to alleviate her sister’s sufferings and the fear of being indiscreet. And there was also that curiosity about his way of writing (as careless as he had boasted it?), his explanations, his vows of affection… Eventually she decided to learn some more details on the previous day encounter before reading the letter. “If it is really what you want, I will grant your wish. But first, Jane, you must tell me more about what happened yesterday or the weeks before. Uncle Gardiner has already told me the witness’ point of view on your encounter and your letters some details about your dealings with the Bingleys since you’ve come to London but I’m sure there is more. Our uncle told me that you were angry, that you stood up to Mr. Bingley. I’m very glad you did but how did you do that? What happened?”

Jane blushed and, once again, fled her sister’s eyes. “There are things I have not told you. First, about a fortnight after my call in Grosvenor Street, I saw Miss Bingley at the theatre. I used “saw” and not “met” because she overlooked me. I was in our box, she was with some friends I didn’t know and I’m sure she saw me as her expression changed. It was not to smile or nod at me, it was to express her horror. And then she ignored me…” Jane was shaking, the telling (her first of it), clearly still painful. Her sister led her to the bed and took back her hand in hers. Jane went on: “Even though I was honest about my first encounter with Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst, I improved somehow Miss Bingley’s behaviour on her call. She presented no excuse for the lateness of her call nor for her slight at the theatre, she was barely civil to me but uncivil to our aunt and she fled before the usual thirty minutes.” She paused once again to regain some of her usual serenity. “And that’s how, I, Jane Bennet, became some kind of monster, who, without even listening to what he was saying, yelled at Mr. Bingley, quarrelled with him, threw unjust accusations at him, and, all that, in front of other people!” Her tone clearly showing her misery, Lizzy could only smile indulgently at her sister.

“My dear Jane, if, indeed, it is a shocking behaviour, I’m sure no one blames you. The people you’re talking about are people who know you and all your angelic qualities, even Mr. Bingley… I’m sure he didn’t write you he wanted some apology, did he?”

“No, he didn’t. And that makes me even more miserable. In fact, he says… But please, read for yourself what he says.” And she handed her the letter once again.

Lizzy let go of her sister’s hand, took the letter and went to the table to use the light of the candle. She had decided to read it silently, if only to try to follow the advice her uncle had given her. Only her breathing was disclosing her feelings. There was no surprise in the first half, her uncle had already told her that much. She only exhaled a mute ‘hoo’ on the engagement part. The second half was more difficult, although she also had already got an account of the same events. Her anger on Miss Bingley’s then Mr. Darcy’s intervention rose once again but she also felt all the trials Mr. Bingley had gone through. And even if he had eventually lost, she was keenly aware that despite his distaste for arguments, he had resisted his sisters and argued with his friend. Just because he had not been guilty of deception regarding her sister and because he had decided to try to win her back, her good opinion of the gentleman had been restored; but her fondness grew by the defence he presented for his friend. That gentleman clearly doesn’t deserve such a friend. He has only brought unhappiness to two admirable human beings and one of them still emphasises his good qualities. Even Jane used to tell me he was certainly not as unworthy as I made him… How can the two of them be deceived so? How can Mr. Bingley be so understanding? He’s really worthy of Jane! The end only reinforced the latter opinion and she resolved on stressing only this point to her sister, who had obviously already felt some of the rightful resentment she was entitled to feel.


Lizzy neatly folded the letter, stood up and walked back to the bed to give Jane her letter back. “Well, Jane, what do you want me to tell you? The letter seems pretty clear to me. The question is: do you decide to believe him or do you not?”

Jane took her time to answer. As she had planned, she had re-read it twice before returning to the drawing room in the afternoon. And the more she did, the more she believed it… the more she believed him. “Yes I do.”

“Then, what do you want me to tell you? Mr. Bingley still loves you, he wants to win you back and he will call on you with his sisters to start the process.” ‘Cause he has apologised but neither his sisters nor his friend…

“But what shall I do?”

You tell me! You were ‘ill-treated’ as Mr. Bingley puts it. You were in love. Has the gentleman proven himself worthy of your love? Do you think you can forgive him? Have you forgiven him?” Lizzy’s tone was sensible, neither praising nor despising. To soften the message, she once again settled close to her sister and took her hand.

The reply was low and disheartened: “I don’t know…“

The sight of her suffering sister was very hard for Elizabeth. She had tried and managed to hide all her fury towards Mr. Bingley’s relatives but she ached on witnessing such a sorrow. She felt herself back two months before. She embraced her sister almost as she would have held a crying child. “Jane… Don’t worry… Everything is so new, you didn’t have time to think on it…. Give yourself time.” She was wondering how she could best help her. A change of mood would clearly be a good idea. She resolved on talking more about the place she had left that very morning. She slowly disengaged from her sister, and, with a light tone, she started.


“Don’t you wish to have some news from Hertfordshire? So many thrilling things are happening…”

Jane heard the sarcasm and understood that her sister was reorienting their conversation. She quietly replied: “Really? Yes I’d love to have some news. Start with our dear family.”

Lizzy shared that all their family was well as Mr. Bennet was still hiding in his library, Mrs. Bennet still marvellously happy by all the prospects the militia still held for her daughters, Mary still practising her sermons (or her playing on the pianoforte, anyway, it met the same success) and Kitty and Lydia still chasing every red coat, which would happened to be in their sight… Talking about red coats, Mr. Wickham is now almost engaged with Miss King! Even though I know a gentleman in his position cannot marry where he wishes, I feel his attitude towards her seriously lacking.”

“Lacking? What a serious judgement! What makes you say so?”

“I don’t know… How he suddenly changed his behaviour after learning she was an heiress… How he still favours my company when she is not present… The remarks he makes to me regarding their future… He asked me if I would mind him marrying her before he proposed to her!”

“I think he was afraid to make you suffer, thinking you were…”

“In love with him? Why asking me if I’d mind? Why not just informing me beforehand if, indeed, he had such a suspicion?”

“Maybe you misunderstood him…”

“Maybe, maybe… Anyway I told him I was not his mother and he could do as he wanted. After that, I also tried to avoid him!”

“Oh Lizzy!”

Lizzy recovered her light tone to add: “And… I’ve got some news form our cousin, Mr. Collins!”

“And Charlotte?”

“In fact, I have news of our cousin from Charlotte. She seems happy enough and she made me quite impatient to see her in Kent. I now look forward my trip over there!”

“I’m glad she’s content. She followed her principle and she deserves to be happy, if only for that!”

Two thoughtful sisters looked silently at each other for a while. Jane seemed to want to talk but wasn’t. Lizzy’s gaze changed to an interrogative one.

“Well…”Jane began, hesitantly, “it’s about this business… my… encounter… Does everyone know it?”

Her sister comforted her. Just their father and herself were aware of this new development. “To explain my sudden departure, we invented you a sudden illness from which you will recover nicely but not early enough for me to go back to Hertfordshire.”

“Thank you, Lizzy. I would have dreaded a too informed Mama…” Lizzy only yawned her agreement. “Oh, you’re tired! I’ve been so happy with your presence, I’ve forgotten you travelled all day. Go to your room, have a good night…”

“Shall you?”

“Have a good night? It’s possible… I didn’t have the best of nights yesterday and this day only brought happy news!” She kissed her sister good night and watched her retreat to her room.


On lying on her bed, Lizzy thought that half of the answers Jane had to find were already there. Just good news today? So Mr. Bingley’s letter was eventually welcome… I’m so glad! Really tired, she fell asleep on this happy idea.

In the other room, Jane’s sleep was not so quick to come. ’Has the gentleman proven himself worthy of your love?’ Well… I can say that he has improved but … ‘Do you think you can forgive him?’ Yes, definitely yes. ‘Have you forgiven him?’ Not yet… I shall wait and see. How I both look forward and dread his call! Before blowing her candle, she opened once again the letter, read most of it with closed eyes, folded it and put it under her pillow. She then encountered Morpheus easily enough.

 

Sow Potatoes, See What you Shall Reap, Chapter 12

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