Had Jane been aware of the admiring looks she was the object of, while she was led to the dance floor, she would have, first, been unbelieving, then, she would have thought it due to her escort, who was pretty dashing in his evening clothes; Charles was aware of them and he felt pride showering over him. He knew the reason of those looks and that had nothing to do with the colour of his coat: she was a beautiful creature who was holding his hand, she would be his partner for at least two sets before the night was over and, more important to his heart, she had agreed to his courting. When shall I propose? I should probably wait until after the supper. I don’t think I’ll be able to behave when she agrees… It would not do if I were to beam idiotically for the whole ball… No, I shall wait after the supper, that’s the best thing to do!

The pattern of the dance would have allowed them to have some conversation at its beginning but no words seemed necessary. He had already commented on her handsomeness during their small talk before the dance and he knew she would end feeling ill-at-ease, should he insist. They could have discussed about the crowd, the heat, the size of the ball-room but none of these topics was close in interest to the one presented by the sight of the other, by the smile of the other and by the heat the other’s hand was conveying.

Once again, on his kissing her hand, Jane had felt that excitation of her nerves, starting on the place his lips had touched through her gloves, spreading to her whole body. Once again she had blushed. Once again everyone had put it on her light discomfort to such a gesture. But, now that no propriety was offended by their touching, she still felt the turmoil in her blood and she still had her cheeks flushed. How can he create such a turmoil in my insides just by kissing my glove or holding my hand? And why do I wish there were no glove between us? I’ve never known this feeling. Even when I was dancing with him at Netherfield, I’ve never felt this longing for more. And what more?

Charles would have probably blamed the heat of the room had he not observed a new, strange and enticing light in her eyes. Can it be that she feels my love radiating through our gloves. D_mned gloves!!! It was so much better without them! I’d like to peel them off, to be able to kiss the bare skin of her hands. And if I dared, I could try the inside of her wrist. Maybe she would protest, but maybe she would not. And if she would not, I could drag her closer and lean slowly to taste her lips… Charles’s cheeks were by then as flushed as Jane’s; his gaze was intent upon her mouth. In her mindset, she didn’t blame the heat either. On the contrary, the blazing fire she saw in his eyes, the promises his look held, the tingling it created on her skin made her part her lips and reinforced her flush.

Fortunately for those two, the pattern of the dance led to a separation that helped them to cool their blood and their mind. Jane Bennet, I cannot believe it… you now add lust to your sins! How can you behave so? And in front of everybody, furthermore! But in spite of her inner scolding, she could not really regret her previous burst and realised that she would gladly experience more of the feelings it had created in her.

Charles’s thoughts had been engaged likewise. He drew a conclusion that was slightly different than Jane’s. The only regret he had was that, as long as they were not formerly engaged, he couldn’t have some time with her … alone with her … where he would be able to really kiss her wrists … where he would be able to really taste her lips! The only solution was to propose without waiting. But they were dancing and could really not quit the set without raising suspicions. I can’t. I’ll wait until the end of the dance. I can’t stop myself any longer. And I shall take her to the greenhouse. This will be the best setting for a proposal. He went on in a daze, suddenly aware of the step he was about to take and as frightened by this soon-to-come event. On reuniting with Jane, he realised anew that there was nothing else in the world he desired more than having her for his wife, that without her he was a lost man, that those weeks without her and the hope to see her again had been as dreadful as the ones after the loss of his mother, and that, if proposing was the only obstacle remaining in the way of his happiness, then he would gladly and courageously affront it. He confronted his fears, remembered that he had planned everything and, as a last potion against his apprehension, he rehearsed mentally his speech.

Jane noticed the shift in her companion’s mood but, as his smile and an affectionate, if somewhat less heated, look came back quickly, she returned his smile and presented a more serene face to the world. And the dance went on.

On another part of the ballroom, the dance had started with a distinct shade of red on Lizzy’s cheeks as well, and, as for her sister, heat was not the only thing to blame. But that was about the last point they had in common. True some kind of physical awareness also existed but whereas for Jane, it suggested unknown pleasure, for Lizzy, it only provoked some more embarrassment. Her thoughts were unbelieving ones when the music started.

How can I have agreed so readily for this dance. It is not as if I had a good memory of the last set we shared! And how did he get the idea of inviting me? I don’t think his memory must be happier than mine! Really, this man is a mystery to me. Look at him, Mr. Stern is back! Why did he invite me if it only makes him scold! ‘Tis not as if he had been obliged to! And why do I feel so aware of him? He burns me when he touches me! I had thought that I had invented the feeling in my memories of Mr. Bingley’s ball, but it appears that I had not.

In this mindset, Lizzy was not inclined to be the one to start the conversation. Her partner’s thoughts were as disagreeably engaged. He couldn’t forgive himself his weakness. I am dancing with her, I’ve invited her to dance, how can I be such a fool? He couldn’t help taking another glimpse of her face and, at once, all the reasons came back to him. And his heart took over his spirit to remind him her mind was as admirable as her figure.

“I remember you told me, on an occasion such as this, that one must speak a little during a dance, as it would look odd to be entirely silent for half an hour together. You had chosen the dance and suggested I made a remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples, if I recall properly.”

Mr. Darcy’s surprise was only slightly inferior to Lizzy’s on hearing his voice. Am I mad? It must be on my way to Bedlam! I had decided to avoid her as much as I could during this ball and I am trying to start a conversation during a dance I made us partake… Moreover he had been able to almost quote her words. This fact was not lost on Lizzy and he was well aware of it. How would she understand that? Would she eventually make out the truth of where his affections laid and relish in it? He had no intention whatsoever towards her, but the more time he spent with her – and it would certainly get longer and longer when Bingley had proposed – the less he was able to recall the reasons of the irrelevancy of his admiration for her and his attraction to her. And as her unsuitability as his wife remained a fact, he felt as riding a bolted horse: he didn’t want to go on, he didn’t know where he was going but he didn’t have the hand in the decision anyway. This sense of absolute loss of power was something he had felt a very few times in his life and it had always led him to some strong grief. It was not a welcome feeling at all. His face, reflecting his inner fight, was even sterner than before.

Lizzy’s understanding of the man went even lower and so did her patience with him and the turmoil he could create in her.

“Why! I’m surprised you bring this occasion between us. What I really remember of the dance is that it didn’t end very agreeably. But you’re a man full of surprise, indeed, I was astonished by your invitation.”

“On that same occasion, I believe I begged you not to try to make out my character by what you saw of me at that moment, I’m afraid you did nonetheless. I don’t see what is so surprising in my inviting a lady to dance during a ball!”

“You don’t? Well I do! I had understood you disliked the amusement exceedingly. But you must be right; I must have drawn erroneous conclusions to my study. After all, your character has always puzzled me, hasn’t it?”

Mr. Darcy was really upset by this declaration and the tone with which it was made. He certainly had some mistakes behind him but, since a few days, he had tried to make up for them and his pride had been bruised on the way. Why Elizabeth Bennet, whom he had, once again, made the honour to dance with, would not, at least, be pleased by so many efforts? But although anger was a more than welcome feeling when felt against this young lady, he knew it should not be vented in an assembly such as this. He knew he could restrain himself well enough but he feared that her fiery temper might lead them to a most improper behaviour, and not the one he would dream of.

He bade his time before answering: “Miss Bennet, I’m inclined to think that I’d rather not answer. We are in a London public ball and I don’t wish for us to become the centre of attention. So I’d feel very relieved if you’d try to behave. You have my word I will.”

Lizzy thought derisively that she would have to react to this insult just as she had to the very first one. Although deeply offended, she put on a brave face and decided to avenge herself where he was so easily unsettled. Without even knowing him, she had managed to upset him by laughing at him. And, indeed, she had exactly the topic that would unnerve him!

“We shall speak about something else, then. I believe Jane and Mr. Bingley are standing up together, are they not?”

Darcy felt grateful for this change but, as he recalled his friend hand-kissing her sister, his tone was not very engaging in his answer. “I believe they are.”

“I wouldn’t want to reveal secrets but he must have told you the agreement they have reached. I don’t know of two people who are more made for each other. I’m so happy they managed to overcome the difficulties they had to face.” The somewhat ironic smile on her face reflected her happiness for her sister but also and above all the foreseen pleasure of having exasperated her companion. Now, let’s see if he can still behave!

The gentleman had been surprised at her first words. Surely, Bingley could not be engaged, he would have told him. But his question about that ‘agreement’ she was talking about soon faded away, replaced by his sense of shame, his daily companion since a few days, and which was only relieved by Bingley’s reassurances that he had forgiven him. Surprise and shame mixed up and plastered on his face a severe look; while his power of speech, never very great in any social event, lessen even more. A short “indeed” was the only answer he managed to voice.

“’Indeed’? That’s all you have to answer? Aren’t you happy for your friend? Don’t you agree they suit perfectly one another?” After all, Lizzy had lost her inner fight to remain externally poised. Her voice was higher than she would have allowed it, should have she been calmer, and much higher than Darcy’s apparent aloofness could tolerate. In the coldest of voice, he expressed his displeasure.

“Miss Bennet, I’d like you to remember where we are and lower your voice. I’m not used to be the attraction in Ton events and I certainly don’t plan to start tonight.” His heart eventually registered what his mouth was saying and felt all the harshness of his words. That softened his voice and made him pause in his reply but his message remained unchanged. “ I beg you to adopt a socially suitable behaviour.”

How can a highly clever and wise gentleman become so tactless? How can an intelligent person completely lose his ability to think coherently? Those very rhetorical questions were completely out of the minds of the couple.

Fortunately for Mr. Darcy, the dance had reached the point where they moved in opposite directions. The separation allowed him to look back on their conversation and, although he didn’t regret their meaning, he realised that his words may have been too strong. Well, I shall have to apologise. Not a coward, he nevertheless intellectually shuddered at the thought.

Lizzy was too upset to look back on their conversation. She just fuelled her anger with all the feelings he should have expressed and the words he shouldn’t have said. Her lapse in answering him back too loudly was strongly felt. Indeed, she should have moderated her voice, indeed, she should have been smiling when she was scolding, but how could she not? I lack in social talent? Remember who you are, Sir! But it serves you to find in myself what you relished in finding in my family, that’s one other flaw you can blame us of!

Her defiant look, when they reunited, showed Darcy that his apology was clearly necessary and would as clearly fall into deaf ears. Anyway, he was taken the lead of the conversation, as Lizzy lost no time in voicing her conclusions.

“I take it that you consider that I, as a Bennet, cannot behave properly. Indeed, you have witnessed so many of our inconvenient behaviours! I’m truly astonished you would even imagine being in our company out of free will.”

“Miss Bennnet,” he cut her shortly, “I believe you have ill-chosen our topic of conversation, for once. This is not to be discussed while dancing.”

Her tone remained low, her coldness matched his. “I believe this has to be discussed. If you find it not a topic to deal with during a dance, then I suggest stopping the dance and dealing with it.”

Although taken slightly aback by such a suggestion, he knew that he would derive no pleasure at all from their dance, that she wouldn’t either and that, as the situation was likely to worsen, should he reject her proposal, the chance of their becoming the great scandal of the evening would be high. “Your wish is my command. As soon as we’re last in our row, I suggest we make our escape.”

She nodded briefly her agreement and, as planned, they left the floor.

For propriety sake, he went to fetch her a drink. On his way he took a glimpse to the adjoining doors, searching for a room where they would be able to converse privately. The absurdity of his situation soon drew on him. I look, as a passionate lover, for a remote place where I’ll be able to take the woman who has haunted my dreams for months, only to allow us to quarrel! How more nonsensical can my life become? I've so often imagined us in a secluded place where we would be able to have more physical intercourses! And I'm only going to be arguing with her... On going back to her, two glasses in hand, he couldn’t but notice how brightened her eyes were. Everyone noticing it would probably believe it due to the dance but he knew better. Anger, fury, rage were the reasons. And he would soon have to deal with them. But indeed, she was right. They had some things to go over before they got together in a small company again. Better then than later! Bingley was not going to wait for them to propose!

“I have seen that the door to the greenhouse is opened. I think it safe at that time of the ball. Would that suit you?”

Lizzy was startled by his return. She had been lost in some very troubled thoughts where she remembered both the part he had played in her sister’s love story and his haughty behaviour towards her family and herself since they had met. Even his no-nonsense tone managed to upset her. How could he keep such a calm demeanour when she was boiling inside and outside?

“It shall. Will you lead the way?”

Using the crowd to conceal their disappearance, the exited the main room.

A lady in the set noticed a change in the dancers. “Edward, I can’t see Lizzy any longer. She was dancing with Mr. Darcy and, suddenly, they have disappeared… Edward? … Edward!”

Mrs. Gardiner’s louder calls eventually roused her husband. “Yes Maddie?”

“Lizzy. She’s disappeared. We must go and find her!”

“Maddie, she’s not disappeared. I was just looking at her exiting the room with Mr. Darcy.”

This answer alleviated his wife’s fears but surprised her greatly. “Really? With Mr. Darcy? I can’t understand what that means. She does not like him in the least, you know. But she has danced with him and now, they flee everyone’s attentions. Can you explain that?”

“I cannot Dearest. All I can say is that he didn’t drag her out; she was as resolute as he. Maybe she was just hot and he took her out. At least, I know those two aren’t going to…”

“Indeed, you’re right!” After a while she asked him if he wouldn’t go and fetch her.

“I will if she stays out too long. But I’m sure they’ll be back soon. Mr. Darcy is very respectful of propriety.”

“Even so. I don’t think they should be left alone.”

“And you’re right, as always. But I so like to dance with you that I’d rather wait for a while. Do you really mind?”

Smiling to her husband, she shook her head. “But you will go?”

“As soon as the dance is finished. You have my word.”

Sow Potatoes, See What you Shall Reap, Chapter 17 - R rated

Sow Potatoes, See What you Shall Reap, Chapter 17 - PG13