After quite a short night of restless sleep and a quick breakfast, Mr. Darcy had his horse saddled and rode it towards Grosvenor Street. The trip was short but he was ready to bet that he would gladly be outdoors after the interview he was about to have. He had long thought about the defence he would present to his friend (at least, he hoped he would still be his friend after the meeting) and, eventually, had decided against revealing his admiration for Miss Elizabeth. He had two main reasons to do so. Firstly, he was still not sure his interference in Bingley’s love affair had been somewhere driven by the fight he was struggling against his own mind. Secondly, if it had, indeed, he was clearly ashamed of it. He was already ashamed of so many things he was about to reveal to Bingley, there was clearly no use in adding this one.

In his sins list, the most painful one was, of course, the concealment of Miss Bennet’s presence in London. Bingley was already aware of it but it didn’t lessen his shame. His friend’s opinion of him was very important but much less than his own.

The second one related to another aspect of his own-self respect. He had always prided himself in his cleverness in judging one’s character, the very poor job he had done in Miss Bennet’s case was a hard blow. He clearly remembered the conversation more like a fight of words, actually with Miss Elizabeth during the Netherfield ball. He had then boasted about his ability not to be blinded by prejudice. I’m afraid my understanding of Miss Bennet’s attitude is a clear proof of the opposite. Even before I had set a foot in the Assembly room, I was prejudiced about the whole company. Soon after, I met Mrs. Bennet and then I was prejudiced about the Bennet family. But then, I didn’t imagine their behaviour at the Netherfield ball: total want of propriety from the father, the mother and the three youngest daughters! Even Miss Elizabeth showed distinctly some discomfort at several occasions because of them!

And, last but not least, at least in his mind, he had allowed Miss Bingley to manipulate him. Had she not insisted in going back to London right after his brother, he might have waited for Bingley to come back. But after that disastrous half hour at the ball, he had been too happy to get an excuse to flee, an excuse so utterly devoid of him and Miss Elizabeth. And had Bingley come back, he might have understood the true nature of Miss Bennet’s feelings. He was pretty sure this part of the story was something that should never come to Fitzwilliam’s ears. His dear cousin’s wit would find there at least a year of sweet comments…

As often when one dreads an event to come, he found himself in the Hursts’ hall before he felt ready for it. It took the butler all his experience not to show his surprise at the earliness of the call. Indeed the whole household knew that nobody would be up before late in the morning, as it was always the case, except for a journey, at the Hursts’. When, following Mr. Darcy’s request, he spoke with Mr. Bingley’s valet, he once again showed his worth by his self-control on hearing that Mr. Bingley had not slept in his bed. They found him soon after fast asleep in the library, among a heap of crumpled sheets of paper. His third and last (for our tale at least) exploit was his easiness in suggesting that Mr. Darcy made free use of the breakfast room, which was being set. One could think a butler’s role was to replace the host but one does not know how Mr. Darcy was a very busy man, who never waited, who was known for that fact, and that that same Mr. Darcy had just informed him that he would wait for Bingley to wake up, as long as it may take.

Less than an hour after, a crumpled and half-awake Mr. Bingley emerged from the library. His night had been very short, the final ‘Your humble, apologising and loving, Charles Bingley’ having been written at three in the morning. He had thought the writing would be quite long, as he wanted the letter to express faithfully all his feelings but he had been surprised to find on the mantel clock that it was already one thirty when he had finished it.

On his last re-reading, he became aware of all the blots and that some words could be easily misread. He, who had always laughed at the carelessness of his writing, who almost took pride in it, was willing not to take a chance. He knew that a ‘The con______ I had [blot], while in your company, completely faded because of the poi____ view presented by Mr. Darcy[blot]sister and the confidence I had in [blot]’ could be read as ‘The consideration I had shown, while in your company, completely faded because of the poised view presented by M. Darcy’s sister and the confidence I had in her’ as well as ‘The confidence I had felt, while in your company, completely faded because of the point of view presented by Mr. Darcy and my sister and the confidence I had in them’. And for once in his life, he did care. So he had done his best to copy out his prose in an understandable and clean way, and after one hour and a half of struggle had finally achieved it.

So, after five hours of bad sleep in an armchair in front of a fading blaze and a quick check of the existence of the properly folded letter, he blinked and rubbed his eyes to erase the vision of Darcy pacing from the breakfast room to the hall and back. But first, it didn’t vanished and then, the vision started to friendly greet him, not at all as impatient as the pacing had been.

“Bingley! Already awake? It’s only eight!”

“Darcy! Is it really you?”

“Why, yes! Who do you want it to be? Awake may have been a too strong word, after all!”

Bingley was bewildered. Fitzwilliam Darcy was at the Hursts’, at eight in the morning, teasing him although he rarely did that and definitely never after he had been waiting for some time as it was obviously the case. He remembered their previous day meeting and the conclusion of it, and determined that Darcy was there to end what had been started at White’s. But Darcy’s behaviour was unreadable for him, at least for the moment. He decided to try his luck a little bit more and said: “You don’t mind if I keep you waiting fifteen minutes longer, do you? I’d dearly like to freshen up if that’s alright with you.”

The answer came, as friendly as before: “Of course, of course. I’ll wait for you in the breakfast room.” Darcy bowed briefly and went back to the room.

Bingley, still not fully confident in the reality of the previous scene, headed to his room in his usual long step. He decided to be as quick as possible and, five minutes early, entered the breakfast room. Darcy commented on his better look and waited for him to be settled with a full plate and a warm cup of tea in front of him before he started: “Do you mind if I take benefit of your full mouth to complete my apology?”

Bingley shook his head to give his assent on the process.

Darcy breathed heavily and went on, hesitantly at first: “Bingley, first, I’d like to thank you for letting me speaking to you this morning… I saw you were very upset yesterday and I cannot blame you… Indeed, it must have been a very tough day!

"But I digress… Actually, what I wanted to tell you are the reasons why I acted the way I have. You were in a really low mood after your sisters and I talked you out of going back to Hertfordshire. It was rather worrying to see you drink so much and find no interest in whatever we could suggest. I must say it made me wonder about the depth of you attachment for Miss Bennet. Back in Netherfield, I had watched your behaviour with a sense of ‘déjà-vu’. Why! You’ve been falling in love almost every couple of months since I know you! Remember the daughter of the Headmaster in Cambridge, your sister’s maid some time later, Miss Thompson (and your lack of mourning when you realized she was engaged), Mrs. Bedisdon, although she was a widow 10 years your senior, and so on and so forth… And whether returned or not, the attentions usually vanished in a few weeks. I had no reasons to guess your feelings for Miss Bennet were not of the same kind!”

Mr. Bingley had gone on eating during the main part of the speech. He had smiled clumsily at the ‘falling in love every couple of months’ part and stopped eating during the enumeration as it would have been horribly ungraceful, and dangerous, to laugh with a full mouth. At Miss Bennet’s mention, he answered back: “Indeed, Darcy, I cannot understand you on this one. If my attentions for Miss Bennet had been equal to the one I had shown before, why preventing me from going back to Longbourn? A few weeks later, my infatuation would have been over and the whole Hertfordshire business finished. I probably would have kept Netherfield to almost never occupy the house. Period, that’s it, settled.

“But you didn’t let those events happen. You ran after me, back to London, to tell me some falsehoods about Miss Bennet, which I trusted because you, Darcy, have always been an example and a sound-advisor, because I’ve always relied on you, because you’ve always been here for me. Why following me, Darcy? Why interfering this time when, even for Mrs. Bedisdon, you had let me learn my lesson? Why, if it was some ‘déjà-vu’?”

“Two reasons, actually. The first one relates to your sister…”

“Caroline! What did she do this time? She’s always been a horrible snob but she outdid herself in Hertfordshire! It struck me more than once that the only countryside of which I’ve never heard her complaining of are the surroundings of Pemberley! So what did she do? Beg you to take her back to London? You’ve never really yielded to her, why this time?”

“Well… She didn’t beg me to take her back to London, although she clearly couldn’t leave while some guests remained in her house! But she confirmed my opinion that you were seriously smitten with Miss Bennet. I see you frown… yes, I had noticed that your partiality for Miss Bennet was beyond what I had ever witnessed in you, but only after an attentive observation of your behaviour, caused by Sir William Lucas’s accidental information that your attentions to her had given rise to a general expectation of your marriage. He spoke of it as a certain event, of which the time alone could be undecided. And as Sir William made his disclosure during your ball, while I was dancing with Miss Elizabeth Bennet, you will see for yourself that it was a rather young knowledge to me when we came back in London.

“Miss Bingley also confirmed Miss Bennet’s low connections, at least the part of her family in London and in Meryton. But that want of connection was not so great an evil to you, her father being a gentleman. There were, nevertheless, other causes of repugnance: the situation of Miss Bennet’s mother's family, though objectionable, was nothing in comparison of that total want of propriety so frequently, so almost uniformly, betrayed by herself, by her three younger sisters, and occasionally even by her husband. You may have been completely blinded by Miss Bennet’s presence at your ball but I can tell you that even Miss Elizabeth Bennet was obviously shocked by her family!”

“Do not underestimate me, Darcy! I may have overlooked some events but I had not lost my sense. I remember clearly a difficult moment during the supper and I can tell you that Miss Bennet was as shocked as her sister. But you must acknowledge that Miss Bennet, and Miss Elizabeth since you mentioned her, have conducted themselves so as to avoid any share of the like censure and that praise is generally bestowed on them both for their sense and disposition.”

“Indeed I do, Bingley. And I think that Miss Bingley would also, at least in Miss Bennet’s case, should she be here… But the fact is that your sisters' uneasiness had been equally excited with my own; once our coincidence of feeling was discovered, we thought it sensible to lose no time in detaching you from Miss Bennet. Therefore we shortly resolved on joining you directly in London; and there I readily engaged in the office of pointing out to you, my friend, the certain evils of such a choice.”

“And you described, and enforced them earnestly…“ Bingley sadly concluded.

“My sole objective was to preserve you from what I esteemed a most unhappy connection.” Darcy’s tone was most sympathetic.

After a while, Bingley started anew. “But, however this remonstrance might have staggered or delayed my determination, I do not think that it would have prevented my proposing marriage to Miss Bennet. Had you not given me the assurance of her indifference, I would have gone back to Hertfordshire and ask for her hand…”

Before his friend’s anger burst back, Darcy answered. ”Bingley, earlier, you’ve kindly described the confidence you used to have in me. Even if I recently proved that it was misplaced, I ask you to trust me there… Once I started observing you, I also watched Miss Bennet. Her look and manners were open, cheerful, and engaging as ever, but without any symptom of peculiar regard. I remained convinced from the scrutiny I made there, that though she received your attentions with pleasure, she did not invite them by any participation of sentiment.

“According to what you told me yesterday, I must have been in an error. If it be so, if I have been misled by such error, to inflict pain on you and her, the resentment you showed at White’s has not been unreasonable. But I shall not scruple to assert that the serenity of her countenance and air was such as might have given the most acute observer a conviction that, however amiable her temper, her heart was not likely to be easily touched. I was probably… make that certainly… desirous of believing her indifferent, but I will venture to say that my investigations and decisions are not usually influenced by my hopes or fears, as you very well know. I did not believe her to be indifferent because I wished it; I believed it on impartial conviction, as truly as I wished it in reason.” After a silence, he finished: “Knowing you were about to be trapped in a loveless marriage, with a most horrid family-in-law, …, I would not have been you friend, had I not tried to prevent this union. This was, obviously, my second reason for interfering.”

During the late explanation, Bingley had looked disappointed, mainly because he had now the confirmation that the man he looked up to had failed. And that failure had happened at one of the most crucial moment of his life. But he was also confident that Darcy was honest in his confession: he really had not understood Jane’s true feelings. He thought it fair to tell him. “I believe you, Darcy. I cannot say that I forgive you, not yet, but I believe you.”

“I understand…” Darcy could have stopped there. So far, he had acted according to his principles, stating what he thought most thoroughly was the truth. The last part of his confession was the hardest but for the sake of recovering his own self-esteem, he had to make it.

“I would also understand if you’d wish never to see me again after what I have to say next… In fact, that’s the real reason of my coming. As painful as the consequence of my role played so far must have been, I see no reason to apologise.” Bingley winced, Darcy stood up from the breakfast table. He walked to the window, his hands joined behind his back, his right fingers toying, once again, with his signet ring and stared far away.

“But for what I did afterwards, I am to blame. I did have good reasons but not good enough.” He turned back to Bingley and gazed right in his eyes. “Miss Bingley had told me of the letters she had received from Miss Bennet and of her presence in London. While we felt confident enough that we would not meet in any gathering, due to the difference in our circles, we had not expected Miss Bennet’s call. But as you were not here when she came, we still had the chance to conceal her presence from you. The decision was taken by the three of us. Miss Bingley and I were adamant, Mrs. Hurst was hesitating. I tell you that to take full responsibility of the fault.” His posture was tense but his tone was calm. He was doing the right thing and already felt better.

His friend’s demeanour was quite similar. Anger could never last long with him and he was really not a resentful man. He had agreed to receive Darcy to listen to his reasons; he wanted now to have his hopeful suspicions confirmed. “You’ve already told me that yesterday Darcy. I vaguely recall you tried to explain why afterwards but I was not ready to hear then. I am now.” His voice was poised. He had the strange feeling that his relationship with Darcy was changing very quickly. Well, right at the moment, he was demanding justifications to Darcy. That was a very new situation.

Darcy also saw the evolution in Bingley. He felt as if he had now an equal in front of him, someone who would now use his sense, which had never been lacking, with confidence. “I’m glad you are. My reasons for concealing Miss Bennet’s presence in London lay on the fear I had to see you go back to the very sad mindset you were in after we convinced you not to go back to Netherfield. You are my friend, Charles, if I can do something to alleviate your pain, I have to decide if I do it or not. My fault was that I overlooked your own sense. I didn’t think you would be able to make what I thought was the good decision. Too much vanity there… who was I to know what was the good decision?”

Bingley was almost smiling. His suspicions were confirmed: Darcy had only acted in the way he thought was the best for him. No pride or haughtiness had interfered and for that he was relieved. ”I thank you for your frankness. I cannot blame you for considering me as an immature child, I relied on you for every decisions I made since a decade. Had I not asked and followed your advice for every step of my life, you wouldn’t have acted that way, would you?”

Darcy didn’t answer but his feature showed an embarrassed agreement.

“But now Darcy, the puppy has grown up. For sure, he will never be a wolf! But he will be an efficient, smart and reliable hound, both for himself and for his friends. I accept your apology and will probably forgive you entirely as soon as I have won Miss Bennet back.” His smile was confident and contagious: Darcy was smiling also.

He walked towards his friend who stood up. “Do I still have the honour of calling you my friend?”

“Indeed you do, Sir!” Bingley’s extended hand was readily taken and shaken by a very relieved Darcy.

After a somewhat embarrassed silence of two smiling gentlemen happy to have settled their quarrel, they took a new cup of tea, sat back at the table and Bingley decided to explain his morning appearance. “Would you care to know the reason of my night in the library?”

“I must say I was quite surprised to see you coming out from there. It used to be your libation room but I had thought those days were over.”

“In truth, the thought of forgetting this whole day with brandy crossed my mind. Indeed, yesterday, after Miss Bennet, her uncle and you, I confronted Caroline and Louisa. A frightful day, isn’t it?” Darcy nodded. “But I had a most important task to perform and I needed a head as clear as possible.” He leaned lightly toward his friend and lowered his voice. “Mr. Gardiner authorised me to write a letter to Miss Bennet to apologise and explain. Unfortunately I cannot call on her at the first hour of the morning as some are prompt to do…”

Darcy was smiling mainly because he was happy his friend was able and willing to tease him anew. Nevertheless he was surprised of his friend’s choice of method to apologise. “Maybe not at some ungodly hour but surely, at the conventional time…”

Bingley was shaking his head. “Had you heard and seen her yesterday, you wouldn’t say that. I need to make my point; I need to enter the barriers she must have built. If I merely say something, she may only hear a part of it. And if I’m in front of her, I may lose my temper or my confidence. No no no, a letter was the best possible method. And I wrote it!”

Mr. Darcy seemed appreciative but somehow doubtful.

“I can see your doubt in my ability to express myself…”

“Not to express yourself. But you have always prided yourself in the carelessness of your writing. I’m entitled to have some doubts!”

Bingley’s answer came, sturdily and definitive: “You must not trouble yourself on my behalf, my friend. It took me around six hours to compose it and one hour and a half to write it clearly. No blot, no unfinished word or sentence. Believe me, it is not some usual Bingley’s claptrap.” After a while he added: “But as it is quite private, I don’t plan on showing it to you.”

Darcy noticed the lack of question mark at the end of the last sentence. Actually, it would have been awkward for him to read it. With pride for his friend’s achievement in a few hours, he congratulated him and asked him how he was going to have the letter deliver.

“I plan on calling in Gracechurch Street this morning to deliver it myself. But as it is still too early, I had thought I would ride in Hyde Park first. Care to join me?”

“I’d be delighted, I had planned so myself.”

Bingley seemed to have reached a decision. “You know what? You should come with me to Gracechurch Street. I could introduce you to Mr. Gardiner. I’m sure you would find him interesting. This man does run a healthy business in plants!”

Darcy understood the meaning of his friend’s proposal. For him, it was also a way of apologising to Bingley and Miss Bennet. After a short thinking, he agreed and, once Bingley’s horse had been saddled, they left for some exercise.

Sow Potatoes, See What you Shall Reap, Chapter 9